


A Van, With Wood Paneling

by missbecky



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Post-Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 22:28:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2126856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbecky/pseuds/missbecky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Milano just isn't big enough for all of them. Especially not when they're all still learning not to kill each other. And that's not even taking into account how big Groot's gonna get once he's done growing.</p><p>So with great reluctance, Peter announces that he's in the market for a new ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Van, With Wood Paneling

It takes less than a day for the obvious truth to come crashing home: they need a bigger ship.

Like, right now.

The Milano just isn't big enough for all of them. Especially not when they're all still learning not to kill each other. And that's not even taking into account how big Groot's gonna get once he's done growing.

So with great reluctance, Peter announces that he's in the market for a new ship.

They're all gathered in the cargo hold, which is pretty much the only place big enough for all of them to, well, gather. The Milano, unaware that she is under discussion, flies herself on the course Peter plotted out for her earlier this morning.

Rocket groans out loud with relief. He's sitting on a large crate. "Thank God. I couldn't take living on this hunk of junk for too long."

"Hey!" Peter says, wounded. His ship is _not_ a hunk of junk, thank you very much. (He also has to resist making a Star Wars joke, because what would be the point? Nobody would get it. But that's one thing he'll never tell anyone, that the Milano was very nearly named the Millennium Falcon.)

Gamora gives Rocket a stern glare, then she turns toward Peter. "It's a very nice ship," she says in her best diplomatic voice. Which isn't really all that great, honestly; diplomacy is something Gamora doesn't exactly know a whole lot about. "But there really isn't enough room for everyone."

"I know," Peter sighs. "It's just, you know, she was my first ship." He _earned_ the Milano, damnit, beating every other new Ravager pilot for the honor of owning her. And that was with the handicap of coming from a planet where no one had ever flown in space before - not like this, anyway. Yondu said afterward that he made over ten thousand units on Peter that day, betting on him to win when no one else thought he could do it.

"Groot's gonna need about nine feet of head room," Rocket says firmly. "Tell me how we're going to get that here."

"I require room to practice my killing blows," Drax says. Like the rest of them, he's standing up, squeezed in between two of the smaller crates. Thanks to Rhomann Dey, they have enough supplies to last them for a while, and the hold is fuller than Peter's ever seen it.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Peter says. "We've got a car, but we need a van."

"What is a car?" Drax asks.

"What the hell's a van?" Rocket demands.

"A car's a personal vehicle you drive on Terra," Peter says. He remembers riding in the front seat next to his mom, singing along to all the old pop songs on the radio. She would look at him and grin as the chorus started, and tap her hands in time on the steering wheel, and they would both sing at the top of their lungs. Sometimes she would even slow down a little, timing it just right so they would arrive at their destination just as the song ended, so they wouldn't have to miss any of it.

"And a van is something bigger. Meant for more people and longer journeys." He perks up, remembering the van their neighbors had, and how much he envied them. "Plus it's got really cool wood paneling along the sides."

Rocket makes a face like he's just bit into something sour. "Wood paneling?"

Peter realizes they're all staring at him. Drax and Gamora both look baffled. Rocket is standing in front of Groot's pot, his hands curled into fists.

"I am Groot," says Groot.

"No, no!" Peter says hastily, realizing what they're thinking. "I'm not…I wouldn't… I would never!"

"Just because some of us are still in pots doesn't mean we're ready to donate part of ourselves to your new ship," Rocket snarls.

"Come on," Peter says. "You know that's not what I meant." He shrugs. "Besides, I don't exactly think they make wood paneling for a spaceship." 

"So where do we find this van?" Drax asks. "I have never heard of such a ship before."

Peter fights the urge to drop his head into his hands. Since hooking up with the other Guardians, he's finding that he spends an awful lot of time fighting that particular urge. "It's not a van! It's just a name… You know what, forget I ever said anything."

"The problem remains," Gamora says coolly, taking him at his word. Which is for the best, really. "We need a new ship. And we have no means of getting one."

Rocket's eyes gleam. "Oh, don't we?"

Now everyone turns to look down at him. "Rocket," Peter says, a hint of warning in his voice.

"What?" Rocket says, far too innocent for such a sneaky little guy. But he's already grinning, and before anyone else can ask what he means, he's giving away his own secret, too delighted to keep it to himself any longer.

Turns out that while everyone else was busy watching The Collector's attendant fall under the spell of the Infinity Stone, Rocket was busy helping himself to some of The Collector's money. "What?" Rocket says. "The drawer was open. I already knew he wasn't going to pay us. So I decided to save everyone the trouble and do it for him."

Gamora folds her arms. "That's stealing. If the Nova Corps finds out…"

"How are they gonna find out?" Rocket demands. "No one here's gonna tell them. Are they?" He punctuates the question with a gesture that shouldn't seem so threatening coming from a guy who's barely two feet tall.

Peter shakes his head, all wide-eyed exaggerated innocence. "Not me."

"I am Groot," says Groot.

"I have no reason to speak to the Nova Corps," Drax says dismissively.

"What about you?" Rocket asks Gamora, and if he were any taller, he'd be right up in her face. "You got a reason to talk to the Nova Corps?"

Gamora huffs out a sigh and just manages to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Great!" Rocket exclaims. "So we're all in agreement. No one's talking to the Nova Corps."

"But are you going to share that money with the rest of us?" Gamora says.

"Why should I?" Rocket says. "It's not my fault you all weren't smart enough to think of it, too."

"Quill will need some to buy his new van," Drax says.

"It's not a van!" Peter exclaims. "For the love of…" He can't hold out any longer; his face meets his palm.

"You guys just met me," Rocket says, "but you should know that I don't just _give_ anyone money." He lifts his head. "But I could _lend_ it to ya. At a discounted interest rate, of course."

"I am Groot," says Groot, and Rocket makes a face.

"I'm not cheating them!" he says indignantly. "It's a fair offer!"

"I'm not borrowing money from a raccoon with a gun," Peter says firmly. He's done things he's not proud of in the name of holding onto the Milano, but this is stooping too low – even for him.

"No, you're not," Gamora says calmly. "Because Rocket is going to give you your fair share."

"I'm going to do _what?_ " Rocket squawks.

"We all agreed to split The Collector's reward evenly," Gamora reminds them. "That's no different now."

"I don't want money," Drax says in irritation. "How many times must I tell you this, woman?"

"Fine," Peter says quickly, hoping to stave off another argument. Because with all the crates in the way, he's pretty sure he won't be able to stop them from killing each other if they decide to go for round sixty-two. "Then we'll take your share and put it toward the new ship." Hopefully they can get one big enough that they can still use the Milano. He really doesn't want to sell her or give her up. With luck, she can serve as a shuttle between the bigger ship and any planets they decide to visit. Once they figure out a place they can go where one of them isn't already wanted for some crime, or banished from, that is.

Rocket bares his teeth. "It's my money and I say what we do with it."

"I am Groot," says Groot. Despite his tiny stature, his voice still rings with authority.

Rocket's hands ball into fists. He clenches his jaw and makes a rising cry of thwarted fury. But as always, he gives in to what Groot wants. It's something Peter has already noticed, something he plans to use mercilessly in the future; he figures it's the only way he's ever going to get Rocket to do something he doesn't want to do.

"Fine," Rocket says in disgust. "We'll split the money." He points at Peter. "But _I_ get to pick the new ship."

"No deal," Peter says instantly.

"We _all_ get to choose," Gamora says, and maybe she's not so bad at this diplomat stuff after all.

"I am Groot," Groot says happily.

"I hate you all," Rocket snaps.

"You do not hate Groot," Drax points out, rather reasonably.

Rocket grits his teeth so hard that Peter can hear them grinding together halfway across the cargo hold.

"I am Groot," says Groot, and he smiles.

"I know a shipyard on Yaphus Minor," says Gamora. "We can start our search there."

"There are no forests on Yaphus Minor," says Drax. "Quill will not get his wood paneling there."

It's too ridiculous, and Peter just laughs. No, he's definitely not going to get any wood paneling on his shiny new spaceship. But that's okay.

The new ship is just the icing on the cake.

He's already got everything he needs right here.


End file.
